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TRADE - JULIET'S DEADLY GAS CHAMBER By: SellCon2762 “Ten burritos? That’s insane! Even for me!” Katie laughed as she walked with her sister Hannah and their friend Jessey. “Yeah…but I think we all know who easily ate the most of all of us!” Jess laughed as she patted her stomach, loaded and brewing with her infamous flatulence. “Oh yeah!” Katie and Hannah answered in unison as the girls entered the large room before them. It had bright white walls and lights. “Speaking of which…where is Juliet?” Katie asked as they quickly heard a door slam behind them. A locking mechanism was activated and the three girls suddenly found themselves inside the room. Juliet had taken them to this storage facility to show them something, but it appeared that she had been separated from the rest of the girls. Jess, Katie and Hannah were all full of fuel from eating a large family size worth of Mexican food and they quickly began to feel their gases brewing within them. Jess walked up toward the

EMIRA 2 By: SellCon2762 Three weeks had passed since my initial encounter with Emira. I was seated in a massive 200-seat auditorium for the main lecture portion of our communications class. It was dawning on me just how utterly useless this class was, even the lectures were pointless, it was just public speaking. We had one of the main professors give the lecture while the majority of us played on our laptops or with our phones. We had the lecture on Mondays with the classroom segments on Wednesday and Friday. That was when I saw Emira the majority of the time. Each class I would be blessed with a fart or two and I would happily send payment to her. I figured it wasn’t too big of a deal if I only had to pay up to fifty dollars or so a day. My assessment of that situation would change on this Monday. It was one of those days for Emira. She was in a mood. I sat in the upper part of the auditorium and she was near the bottom. I was caught up in the view of her accentuated ensemble

While I don’t consider my own stories to be the best, I do believe that I’ve improved over time. As such, I thought I would write up five things I could recommend to any writer who wants to get better at creating fart stories. 1. First things first: Proofread your writing. There are far too many stories out there that feature grammatical errors, weird wording, and confusing phrasing that ultimately takes the reader out the experience. If someone is enjoying a story and most likely “pleasuring themselves” the last thing you want is to cause their focus to break due to your lack of proofreading. Also, proofreading allows you to add things to a story that you might not have thought of during the original writing process. You realize good additions, ways to change the order of events, etc. Trust me. Just do it. 2. Add build up / anticipation: We’ve all read stories, where the author spams onomatopoeia over and over like they’re smashing their keyboard, and the story turns out to be not very good. The reason for this is that the act farting itself is not intrinsically hot (in terms of a story). Having a character fart endlessly without much or any dialogue or narration in between farts becomes grating and dull. This is because the anticipation, the buildup and eventual release is what makes a fart hot. Stories that repeat farts over and over again (without proper build up or explanation for why the girl would be so gassy) tend to be bad. You need the reader to anticipate it, and then pay off the anticipation. Even if you want some kind of hyper farting story, there needs to be an explanation or build up to such a high frequency of farting. Again, this is because just having a character constantly farting isn’t hot. But leading into someone having a gassy fit, or establishing that they have some for of extreme flatulence is necessary first. Which ties into the next tip very well. 3. Adding infamy: Another good way to make your story better is to add infamy towards the person who is farting. So what does this mean? What it means is simply stating over and over that someone has bad farts isn’t enough. State some sort of facts along the lines of “they’ve done worse” or perhaps the scene you’re writing reminds the farter or someone smelling it of some of scenario. Essentially any sort of way to add believability to the story makes it all the better. Especially if the girl has extremely bad smelling gas or farts a lot, you would want to emphasize how out of the ordinary she is. Instead of stating simply she farts a lot, saying something like “Even from a young age she was always the gassiest person anyone who knew her had ever met” is a much more interesting way of putting it. 4. Understanding what you want to do in a scene: Fourth you need to know what it is that you want to convey in a scene, and once you figure this out, you need all the narration and dialogue to fit that tone. As you proofread, ask yourself about the mood or the feeling of the scene, and then ask if it is what you were trying to convey or not. It is very easy for a scene you thought was hot or was working when you first wrote it to turn out needing fine tuning. 5: Creating a good flow: Not everything that happens in a story needs to be expressed in full detail. A fart being expressed in detail and/or including onomatopoeia should be to provide meaning or purpose. It could be to show how gassy a girl is, how bad the fart smells, the effects it has on a room, etc. but in short - don’t feel like it is mandatory to write a long multi paragraph description every time a girl farts. Onomatopoeia too can be a crutch of sorts for writers not confident in their description skills. It can just as easily improve a scene (if it’s your cup of tea) as it can ruin them, so use it sparingly id say. Save it for farts that are extraordinary or at least deserve the emphasis. Sometimes, if a girl farts multiple times it can be better to simply state, “Effortlessly she farted again and added to the stink that was already plaguing the living room” rather than a long drawn out paragraph describing the sound of the fart, the smell, the length, if it is wet or dry, etc etc. That’s not to say such descriptions are bad, of course not. But there is simply a time and place. But in general, have the story flow well, having a mandatory text wall of onomatopoeia and fart descriptions every 2 paragraphs tends to lead to a bad reading experience, and at least for me it takes me out of the story. For now, this is all I can think of in terms of writing tips for making fart stories. Obviously, the more stories you make the better you will get. And don’t be afraid to make documents where you brainstorm ideas and plot out timelines of stories too, those help. Again, I’m not the best writer but I think I’ve improved and hope you can too. So to summarize 1. proofread 2. have build up, anticipation, and pay offs 3. add infamy to the person farting, add backstory or characterization 4. understand the mood you want to convey 5. have a good flow, and don’t spam onomatopoeia and descriptions